Safeguards of loneliness

Watching the world
from my desk
from behind safe-guards
of haughtiness
movie stars rise and grow old
only to be followed of news
of another democracy – no, dictatorship!
on the sway,
somewhere, far away.

Not of interest to me,
as in people and humanity, mostly
a nuisance I see.
children are born
by women I used to know
as carefree students at school.
their children blossom
into their teenage years -
while mine leave me
with unshed cries and tears.

From behind my safe-guards
of loneliness, I watch
people going about their busy-ness,
too busy to breathe, to feel,
to sense, while I, though living leisurely,
lack courage to let my heartbeat free.

From my desk, I watch,
the internet brings it to me,
this idealized fantasy
we deem reality, knowing
it's make believe,
and yet unable to retrieve
our eyes, trained on the sparkle,
back to our own garden patch,
Where the grass needs trimming,
the dishes need being done,
checkbooks need being balanced,
and chores are never really done.

Like you, I yearned for the “somewhere,
over the rainbow”, where life would be
better, smoother, either more or less so.
But I'm starting to grow older,
and running away from truth
convinces me no more, tires me
to my unknown core.

There are only so many movies to see,
so many ice cream cones to eat,
so many bags of chips to consume, so
many flings to loose yourself in...

One day, everything you used
to run away will taste like ash and cinder,
if not to your palate, due to the omnipresent glutamate,
then to your true nature, your only soul and mate.

It will never cease to beckon, quietly
but doggedly reminding you
there's more to life if you are
willing to venture further while
without a clue.